Stork Birtherism among God fearing Flat Earthers and Jet Fuel Deniers

A few months ago some God fearing Flat Earthers began discovering, gathering evidence, and reporting that jet aircraft actually do not need or use jet fuel as a power source to fly. The actual advanced technology used is hidden from the public in much the same way and for the same reasons that flat earth truth is also hidden from the public. It is just another example of Satan’s grand strategy and conspiracy to deceive us all into believing that jets require petroleum to fly and that petroleum came from rotting dead dinosaurs and other prehistoric life forms and that man evolved from lower life forms and that therefore God does not exist.

Some within this group are also venturing into another area of novel and hidden truth, stork birtherism. Many stork birthers are concluding that the idea that human babies come from and are the result of human beings engaging in sexual intercourse with each other is just as fake as the idea that jets need jet fuel to fly. God fearing Flat Earthers are the tip of the spear in casting out false beliefs and determining the real hidden truth about many things in these last days, including the truth about jet fuel and the latest revelation on how human babies come into this world, that they are delivered by storks, in the service of Almighty God.

The false belief that human babies come from human sexual intercourse is another of Satan’s great lies to convince people that they are no different than animals and that they evolved from animals and that therefore God does not exist. A recent convert to stork birtherism testified, “When I first heard flat earthers, jet fuel deniers, and stork birthers telling me that babies really come from storks, I thought it was ridiculous, until I tried to prove them wrong, and I couldn’t do it. So I became a stork birther. All those hideous videos you have seen of babies being born have either been faked with CGI or are the result of humans being possessed by Satan’s demons and having been enslaved by Satan’s human sex cult.”

[The flat earth movement not only puts another philosophical viewpoint on the table for examination, critique, and contrast, but also provides fabulous fodder for the follies.]

[Last March 2018 a friend of mine who is a flat earther referred me to a youtube video entitled “Passenger Airplanes Don’t Carry Fuel, technological achievement being hidden from public eyes” by the youtube channel “Enslaved By No Media” so I watched it. It appeared that this was a new concept catching on with some flat earthers. Shortly thereafter flat earth debunking airline pilot with youtube channel “wolfie6020” responded with a video “Don’t be ridiculous – of course Jet engines use liquid fuel.” So seeing these videos inspired me to respond with a Stork Birther satirical piece, which I originally shared as a comment on youtube, and also on Facebook. So here I finally got around to editing it a bit and creating a blog post out of it to hopefully share the satirical humor and laughs with more people.]


Flat Earth Tri-Location – Former NASA engineer presents rigorous derivation of previously reported discovery

Warning: The following is satire. It could be viewed as blasphemous to some religious zealots (as I once was). Read at your own risk.  If you are easily offended by satire, and not at all able to make fun of yourselves and your fellow earthians, whether flat or spherical or undeclared, as well as your creator God if you so believe, and religion, especially of the narrow-minded type, then you should stop reading right now.  Get thee quickly far from here.  You have been warned.  Future complaints from those who proceed to read without heed and are offended by the satire will be ignored.


As promised in the previous announcement of this discovery in flat earth theory made on October 17, 2017, the detailed derivation is given below of tri-location on the flat earth. It is shown that while one is present on the flat earth, they are actually simultaneously present in three distinct places, dubbed primary, secondary, and tertiary, hence tri-located on the flat earth.  This derivation is presented to all flat earth researchers and other more mainstream scientists and others for open peer review.


First consider longitude. Whether you are on the spherical earth map or the flat earth map if you travel west to east (or vice versa) your position will change in longitude.  In both cases if you travel a total of 360 degrees of longitude you will end up right back where you started.  On the spherical earth the earth rotates once every 24 hours.  If you used a reference frame of a stationary (non-rotating) spherical earth the sun would appear to be circling around the earth once every day traversing a total of 360 degrees of the earth’s longitude each day.  On the flat earth the sun is considered to be circling above the stationary flat earth and around the north pole so that in one day it traverses a total of 360 degrees of the earth’s longitude.  So longitude is consistent between the spherical earth and flat earth models.  If you define zero longitude as the prime meridian through the Royal Observatory at Greenwich London for both spherical and flat models, longitude would have to be perfectly equivalent between both models.  That means that if you are at a certain longitude on the spherical earth model, you would have to be at the same longitude on the flat earth model.


Now consider latitude. Whether you are on the spherical earth map or the flat earth map if you travel south to north (or vice versa) your position will change in latitude.  In both cases if you start at any point on the equator and travel north a total of 90 degrees of latitude you will end up at the north pole.  The distance you will have traveled from equator to the north pole will have been the same whether on the spherical model or the flat model.  Latitude is defined as zero at the equator and positive as you go north.  Latitude is defined as negative as you go south from the equator.  So on the spherical model if you start at the equator and travel south to -90 degrees latitude you will end up at the south pole.  On the flat model if you start anywhere on the equator and travel south to -90 degrees latitude, instead of ending up at a point you end up on the “polar” ring.  But the distance traveled from equator to south pole on the spherical model will be the same as the distance traveled from the equator to the “polar” ring on the flat model.  And that distance is also the same as the distance from the north pole to the equator (same whether sphere or flat as earlier established).  It is clear from the above that latitudes are equivalent whether on a spherical or flat model.  Therefore if you are at a certain latitude on the spherical earth model, you must also be at the same latitude on the flat earth model.


So based on the above two paragraphs, when you are at a certain latitude and longitude according to the spherical earth map, you are actually at the same latitude and longitude on the flat earth. So when you realize that you are on the Flat Earth, this is the primary place where you are, at the same latitude and longitude as you would be if you were on the imaginary spherical earth.  But beyond this, is where it really starts to get interesting and exciting.


This is where it really helps to take some of your own measurements right where you live to make this as real to you as possible. For me, I live in San Jose, CA, so I used my car and its odometer to measure the distance between two defined points of longitude on a street that runs east-west, as well as between two defined points of latitude on a street that runs north-south.  From this data you can calculate the south to north gradient in terms of miles traveled per degree of latitude, as well as the west to east gradient in terms of miles traveled per degree of longitude. For the two gradients I got 69.1 miles traveled per degree of latitude, and 55 miles traveled per degree of longitude.  My location in San Jose is approximately 37.3 degrees latitude.

The south to north gradient is as expected and would be the same whether on a spherical or flat earth model.  The west to east gradient however needs to be factored into the correct equation for a flat circular disk in order to determine the latitude at which this gradient would occur.  That equation is gradient = 55 = (((90-deg lat)/90)*3959*3.14159^2)/360 and solving for latitude gives 44.4 degrees.  This means that while I am at 37.3 deg lat in San Jose on the Flat Earth as my primary location, I am also at 44.4 deg lat on the Flat Earth as my secondary location, which is just a few miles from Sisters Oregon.  As remarkable as this is, to realize that on the flat earth I am actually at two distinct places at the same time, it gets even more remarkable as we apply more principles of flat earth theory to the problem.


Back on the equinox of September 23, 2017 I took some of my own data where I live and found it to be consistent with what one would expect based on looking up the various parameters on the web.  Although I did not travel personally to the equator, I am relying on generally accepted parameters available on how one would experience the equinox there.  Based on this, and the flat earth assumption, I was able to determine that the sun was 5322 miles above the surface of the flat earth at the equator on the equinox.  Based on where I saw the sun in San Jose on the equinox, and the flat earth assumption, I was able to determine that I am 4054 miles north of the equator where I am in San Jose, CA, which would put me at 4054/69.1 = 58.7 deg latitude. Incredibly then, this puts me up in the northern part of British Columbia Canada, a few miles from Fort Nelson BC.  So this would be my tertiary location.

So now I have established that according to flat earth theory, when I am present in San Jose, CA on the flat earth as my primary location, I am actually simultaneously present in two other distinct places on the flat earth, at the same longitude, but at two distinct places further north in latitude, one placing me in Oregon and the other placing me in Canada.


Within conventional physics, science, and mathematics, when different lines of reasoning and logic lead to different conclusions, called by those in the discipline contradictions, theories are often considered to be refuted.  But within flat earth science, also known by some as Biblically Based Science (BBS or Double B S), these apparent contradictions of the theory are actually viewed as further confirmation of the theory.  This is what is so beautiful and elegant about flat earth science, the more that it is seemingly refuted by conventional scientists and others, the more it is actually established as the absolute truth from God and His word the Bible, which cannot lie.  Satan is so clever to concoct so many contradictions to deceive us, but we know his game, as God’s word the Bible tells us, he is the father of lies.  The more Satan lies, the stronger our faith in the immovable flat earth becomes, so that the truth of the flat earth is irrefutable.


Many flat earth advocates and believers, having heard of these discoveries for the first time, are saying that they always felt like they were in multiple places at the same time, and now they are comforted to know that they were not crazy after all, that Biblical science confirms what they always knew in their hearts to be true.


Future possibilities and ramifications of this research are far reaching and possibly limitless.  That tri-location has been proven on the flat earth, multi-location is not ruled out. As further advances are made in flat earth theory, the limit may even be beyond the firmament, or even beyond the firmament of firmaments.

Comments, feedback, questions, further insights are sought from fellow flat earth researchers, establishment scientists, and others, as a period of peer review is conducted.  After a period of peer review extending until the end of calendar year 2017, a report will be made on the results of the peer review, and its ramifications for the future of flat earth research in the twenty-first century and the ages to come.

Former NASA engineer makes major Flat Earth Theory discovery today October 17, 2017

It was discovered today by T. Mark Hightower, formerly an engineer with NASA but now retired and actively engaged in flat earth theory research, that current flat earth theory implies that while one is present in one place on the flat earth they are actually at the same time also in two other far away distinct locations on the flat earth.  (It may alternatively be possible that no one is actually present anywhere on the flat earth, but flat earth researchers consider this the null case where further study is not merited.)  The ramifications of this discovery are far reaching for the fledgling resurgence of flat earth research in the recent past as many were hoping that flat earth theory would be a tremendous simplification of our understanding of God’s fish bowl in which we live, but now it appears that flat earth theory may be just as complex, enigmatic, and paradoxical, as Einstein’s theories of relativity, quantum mechanics, string theory, and multiverse theory, where our cozy fishbowl with the ceiling of a planetarium was erroneously viewed as being the result of a big bang billions of years ago resulting in an expansive and seemingly infinite multidimensional space time continuum  containing countless galaxies, stars, black holes, planets, moons, asteroids, hemorrhoids, comets, explosive diarrhea, and aliens.  Practical applications of these new discoveries are firmaments away, but some day it is hoped that the average Flat Earthian will be able to transport him or herself to other places within the flat earth fishbowl instantly and at will, thereby saving tremendous amounts of energy, and also making it unnecessary for NASA to continue faking the launching of satellites and other spacecraft, saving even more money and energy and improving NASA’s public image on Youtube, Facebook, and Google, and also making it much less likely that it will be necessary to target NASA employees in a future false flag incident possibly made to appear as if it were carried out by a lone nut Flat Earthian.  Rigorous documentation of this discovery will be given in the near future (perhaps in a week or two) for peer review by fellow flat earth researchers, as well as conventional scientists and others.